Monthly Archives: March 2015

Simple Tips for Staying Young

A few days ago I was talking to a colleague. He mentioned that in a recent jury duty stint that there weren’t many young people. He looked at me and said “there were a few people around my age (he is in his mid 60s) and several people around your age, 35 or so.”

boom Photo By Dennis Hill via StockPholio.com

The Funny Thing Is…

I smiled at my colleague, then he thought for a second, “Wait, you can’t be 35, you told me you have a son getting married.”  (Full disclosure, I’ll be 46 later this year.) Now, I certainly like this person more than before! But the truth is Sally and I get this all the time. People are frequently surprised to find out we have adult children. Like my colleague they look at our appearance, behaviors and activities and make an assumption about our age, generally 10 or more years younger than where we are biologically.

You’re How Old??

There is a common cliché, “you are as old as you feel”. It contains some truth but doesn’t really flesh out what makes you  “feel” old or young. I have some friends who are many years younger than me…but a stranger would judge them to be in their late 50s or early 60s. On the other side I have a friend I attended college with who still looks exactly the as he did more than two decades ago. Personally except for one or two small things I behave and feel WAY younger than 45. So the question is, what does it take to look and more importantly FEEL younger?

It’s Not One Thing

There are many advertisements for pills, creams, diets and such that make promises to turn back the clock. In truth diet and some products can help the process, but there is no one magic bullet to make you feel and look 10 or even 20 years younger. There are several considerations that can affect the age you look and feel.

The Categories

I’m going to break these into three basic categories: habits, behaviors and attitudes. Each category contributes to looking and feeling younger. Some may seem silly, but from personal experience they all make a significant contribution.

Habits

Let’s start with the obvious. If a person eats nothing but garbage then they will look and feel like someone who eats only garbage. Low energy, chronic diseases (diabetes, cardiac problems, stroke, etc.) follow those who have this type of diet. The effect will be to age a person considerably. Smoking, excessive alcohol consumption and the like cause similar issues. Cleaning up your diet will make the single biggest impact on how your body feels. Note I don’t mean you have to go all “eat clean” for every meal. We still have pizza, burgers and the like. But most of our meals and snacks are healthy. We use nutritious shakes, but you can accomplish the same results by taking on a proper diet of healthy foods. I’m just too lazy and cheap to buy and make it all. :-) We also use some great supplements with powerful health benefits.

Behaviors

You don’t want to feel like those you consider to be “old people”? Then don’t do what “old people” do. Do things that “young people” do. I know a gentleman who goes to the gym all the time, he is in his mid 80s…and working out with the best of them. My wife is in a class at the gym called “Fit for 50”. It’s designed for people 50 and over. She doesn’t meet the age suggestion but goes because it works in her schedule. However most of the other people are WELL over 50. Guess what…they aren’t doing what “old people” do. The are exercising their bodies, strengthening their hearts and building muscle. They are pushing their bodies to expand their physical capabilities. “Old people” don’t do such things. They sit around watching soap operas, reality TV, game shows and such while complaining about their sore joints, chronic diseases and failing organs. To summarize: if you want your body to feel younger then you have treat it like it is younger. If you want your body to feel younger then you have treat it like it is younger. Click To Tweet

More Behaviors

Some behaviors to keep you young aren’t necessarily about exercise. At times our boys come back home and Sally and I play video games with them, the interaction is fun and stimulating. When we visit family in Michigan we play board games, but not like “old people”, we stay up until 2 or 3 am laughing and having a great time. We also get out on the water and ride jet skis. This May we are going to an event in Tennessee to improve our marriage coaching skills. I hear there is a zipline on the property. You know I’m going to get on it! “Old people” would not do so. Keeping young requires behaviors that stimulate your zest for life!

Attitudes

I read books and blog posts a lot. I listen to podcasts. I don’t watch the news or regularly read newspapers. I fill my thoughts with positive and life affirming input. What I read and listen to encourages me to keep growing my mind. They push me to expand what I believe I can do with my life. They encourage me to find more and better ways to help others. They draw me closer to God. I’m going to tell you something you’ll never see on a 24 hour news station. Frequent input of negative news will age you. Frequent input of negative news will age you. Click To Tweet What you put in your mind is not neutral. It will either drag you down or fill you with renewed vigor. If you want to look and feel young then put things in your mind that will give you hope, vision and excitement!

In Closing

You get to decide how young you feel. To a degree you can affect how old you look. Both require modifications to your habits, behaviors and attitudes. Age is not about a number of years. It is about health of mind, body and spirit. So go for a walk or run. Jump on a bike or go for a swim. Call up some friends and play games late into the night. Then in the morning read your Bible and another uplifting book. On your drive listen to some great positive content. How you live your life will determine how you feel. Positive physical, mental and spiritual actions will lead to more vigorous physical, mental and spiritual results.

You can do it!

-Troy

One Shot

When our kids were little it seemed like we had all the time in the world with them. but they aren’t little anymore, one is out of the house and the other is in school and about to be married. The time flew by and we didn’t really realize we had just One Shot.

clock Photo By Alice Popkorn via StockPholio.com

Welcome to Life

Welcome to life. You and I are here on this planet for a limited time, then we go into eternity with those that have passed on before. According to my belief system some will go to spend eternity with God and some will not. But everyone has the choice to be with God for eternity. Those who don’t made the choice to not do so, it’s as simple as that.

If you declare with your mouth, “Jesus is Lord,” and believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead, you will be saved.
-Romans 10:9

Not a Sermon

This post is not a sermon about religion or Christianity, but if you’d like to talk I’ll be happy to communicate with you one on one. Never forget that what you do in this life controls what happens in the next.

One Shot

In your marriage you have One Shot. It doesn’t matter if this is your first marriage, second, third or more. You still only have One Shot. Now, I know that angry words, infidelities and mistreatment can all be forgiven. If you are married to a person who has a heart of grace the relationship can be restored. But there will come a point where it ends.

The End

The ability to be forgiven by your spouse ends with either death or divorce.The ability to be forgiven by your spouse ends with either death or divorce. Click To Tweet As we know divorce should never be an option. In fact the vast majority of marriages don’t end in divorce. But one way or another all marriages end. Just like your children will eventually be grown and out of the house, so will your marriage eventually be over. You only have One Shot.

One Shot for What?

You have One Shot to keep the promises you made at the wedding ceremony, you have One Shot to be the best possible husband or wife to your spouse, you have One Shot to give her or him the life they deserve. Is forgiveness available? Yes, but only until the marriage ends. You and I have no idea when one we will leave this life. Which means you and I have no idea when we have had our Last Chance to make the most of our marriage.

Don’t Wait

Don’t wait until the kids are grown to spend quality time with your spouse. Don’t wait until things slow down at work to take her one a vacation with just the two of you. Don’t wait to start showing her more love and affection. Don’t wait to read the book or listen to the podcast or go to the marriage retreat to make your marriage amazing. Don't wait to do whatever you can to make the most of your marriage for your spouse. Click To Tweet

You only have One Shot…then it’s over.

Don’t Wait.

Love you all!

-Troy

Odd Things

I do odd things. Actually, I do relatively odd things. Relative to what most of my friends and family do. I didn’t used to do these odd things…but now I rather enjoy them.

tattoo

Photo By Cameron Genereux via StockPholio.com

What Odd Things?

You know, odd things like go to the gym regularly, run 10 miles on a Saturday, swim through mud, climb over old cars and up ropes. Odd things like start my own business. Odd things like listen to podcasts rather than talk radio, music or sports. Odd things like work on putting together ways to coach other couples to have amazing marriages. Odd things.

What this Post Isn’t About

This post isn’t about exercise or working out. I’m not trying to convince anyone to run a 10K or half-marathon with me…and certainly not a Warrior Dash. No, this post isn’t about anything like that.

What this Post Is About

This post is about not being normal. This post is about finding your own odd things. Normal people do what most of their friends do. Normal people follow the trends of society. Normal people lead normal lives. Normal people have a normal impact. A normal impact is a nominal impact. Normal people miss out on a “life more abundant.” (see John 10:10) Normal people doing normal things don’t change the world. Normal people doing normal things don't change the world. Click To Tweet

What Time Is It?

It’s time to step out. It’s time to back to school. It’s time to quit school and pursue your dreams. It’s time to go to the mission field. It’s time to make your long time neighborhood your mission field. It’s time to start learning guitar, or Spanish, or write your book, or quit your job, or do what it takes to get promoted at your company. It’s time to sell the house. It’s time to buy a house.

It’s time to step out.

My friends, life is about experiences. Collect them. My friends, life is about experiences. Collect them. Click To Tweet

If you don’t try anything new how will you know what you can do? I promise that you can do more than you think.

It’s time for you to do something odd.

Drop me a note in the comments with the odd thing you are doing or are going to do.

Love you all!

-Troy

 

Team Up!

Several years ago Sally and I ran a volleyball league at a large church. We had eight teams in the league and did our best to make sure there was a good distribution of players of varying skill levels on each team. But when it came down to game night it was all about the team banding together to win the set.

volleball Photo By Jens karlsson via StockPholio.com

The Problem

One of the saddest things is to watch a marriage break apart. For Christian couples we know why they get divorced, but no matter whether they are Christian or not there is a sure sign that things are not going well. The sign is this: they stop playing for the same team.

The Team

In a family the most critical relationship (after the individual relationships with God) is the marriage relationship. It’s not the relationship with the children, although that is VERY important, it is the husband-wife dynamic. The two of us need to make sure we are always playing for the same team.

What Does This Mean?

Playing for the same team means we always have each others back. We never side with others against our spouse, we don’t correct them in front of other people (especially the children) and we put our spouses needs above our own. It’s pretty clear when two people are no longer playing for the same team. Complaining, back biting, always doing what I want, regularly choosing time with others over time together are all symptoms of this issue.

The Final Result

Playing for different teams, which really means playing on your team of one has dire consequences. It will leave your spouse feeling lonely and rejected. A sense of inadequacy and or depression are common. People in this situation will sometimes seek love outside the marriage. It’s starts out small, a critical word in front of friends, a constant nagging about something someone did wrong, slow emotional detachment. This path frequently leads to the end of a marriage.

If you keep on biting and devouring each other, watch out or you will be destroyed by each other.
-Galatians 5:15 (NIV)

The Good News!

The good news is that you can get back on the same team! It takes time and effort, but is very worth it. Interestingly getting back on the same team isn’t necessarily about grand gestures or huge immediate relationship renewal. In the same way the small bad things over time damaged the relationship, small good things over time can heal the relationship. Small bad things over time damage relationships, small good things over time heal relationships. Click To Tweet

Play for the Home Team

Faithful love and truth will join together; righteousness and peace will embrace.
-Psalm 85:10 (HCSB)

You only have one spouse. She (or he) married you with the understanding that you would build a life together. Your spouse married you with the understanding that you would build a life together. TOGETHER! Click To TweetPlaying for your own team breaks the covenant you made the day you were married. Here is my challenge to you. Look at your conversations, actions and most importantly attitudes over the last few weeks. Have they been 100% supportive of your spouse? If you had any differences of opinion did you share your thoughts in a loving way or a condescending way? If what you discover shows evidence of playing solo and not for the home team then it’s time to make a change. Get back in the game! Love your wife or husband! Have their back and never give them a reason to doubt your care for and belief in them.

You can do it!

Love you all!

-Troy

How to Be a Moron…Then a Hero

Welcome to Tuesday…where it’s not always about marriage. :-)

So all of you know that I’m an IT geek. At my job I’m careful and fastidious to make sure details are covered and things are not overlooked. I teach this stuff so I had better know what I’m doing. But sometimes I’m the moron at home.

machinenobrain Photo By HeatSync Labs via StockPholio.com

Setting up the Moron Story

Many years ago I set up a local backup of our primary home computer. It was set to back up to a local external USB hard drive so I could quickly recover lost or deleted files. In addition I expected the backup to protect us from a failure of our computer. One day the computer would not boot up. After extended diagnosis I determined that the hard drive in the computer had failed. No problem! I had it backing up to the external drive, so just reinstall Windows, recover the files and it’s all good. Three hours, max.

Here is the Moron Part

Apparently I had a “set it and forget it” mentality. Even though I taught others to check their backups regularly, I wasn’t doing it myself. After re-installing Windows I discovered that the backup had stopped working…SIX MONTHS AGO! We didn’t lose a lost of pictures, but we did lose ALL of our financial data from the previous six months. Even worse, Sally was the only one who had any idea what to do. So she painstakingly reentered as much as she could from receipts and bank statements. Much data was unrecoverable. she was kind and forgiving, but I caused her a great lot of trouble. Fortunately our marriage weathered this storm.

Lesson Learned

After this debacle I purchased an annual subscription to Carbonite (referral link), which is an online backup service in the cloud. That way even if the local backup failed I knew we could recover. For $59 per year it’s cheap insurance against disaster, or my stupidity.

The Hero Part

Some time later we were out of state visiting family. As sometimes happens there was a computer with an issue. Lo and behold the drive had failed. But THIS time we had already made sure that Carbonite was installed and functional. So I restored Windows, installed Carbonite and started the recovery process. Since it was a LOT of data coming across the Internet I knew it would take a while. So while we spent the next two days riding jet skis, playing in the water, enjoying games late into the night the computer was faithfully pulling down the files. After the two days I spent just a few minutes tweaking some items and it was as if nothing failed.

Moral of the Story

Make sure you practice what you preach…and keep more than one backup of your computer!

Have a great day!

-Troy

 

 

4 Essentials for a Life-Long Joyful Marriage

 

Four HeartsPhoto By StockPholio.com

One of the things that many couples wonder is, “What does it take to be happily married…til death do us part?” It’s really not enough to just stay married, because lots of couples stay married, but what does it take to not only stay married, but ENJOY staying married to the same person for decades?

A Caveat

I know that some folks will look at my “4 Essentials” and raise all kinds of concerns about things that are missing. I am not saying these are the only things needed for a long-term joyful marriage, but I am saying without these 4 a marriage won’t be what it could and should.

1. A Personal Relationship with God

I know couples who are not Christians but have been married a long time. I also know those marriages live on the individual strength of each person. This is a very dangerous place. We can go on our own strength for a time, but when things begin to unravel you’ll need Someone to lean on. Your spouse will be a person to lean on at times, but what about when you are both down? If you both hit bottom at the same time and God is not at the core of each of you individually it is far too easy to lash out and walk away. Your spouse must be the love of your life, but not your first love.

2. A Commitment to Stay Married for Life

Recently I heard Andy Andrews say on a podcast, “If you haven’t completely closed the door on considering divorce in your life then your subconscious will always be looking to see if it’s time to walk out.” We have talked in the past about Why Christian Couples Get Divorced, but this is different. There are VERY few commitments you will likely make that are for life and for far too many people, sadly, marriage doesn’t make the list. Oh, it wedding vows they will say, “til death do us part” and perhaps in that moment they believe it. But the strongest couples have made the commitment to stay married for life…when they are NOT in the middle of an emotional event.  The commitment to stay married for life is a conscious decision of the mind, not the heart.

The commitment to stay married for life is a conscious decision of the mind, not the heart Click To Tweet

3. Deciding to Joyfully Serve Your Spouse

Many couples have difficulty with one or both of the first two essentials, but the couples that DO stay together still may not have a lot of joy in their relationship. This essential, deciding to joyfully serve your spouse, is one that doesn’t even come to mind for many couples. First of all, we are called to serve each other:

Each of you should use whatever gift you have received to serve others, as faithful stewards of God’s grace in its various forms.” – 1 Peter 4:10

But it’s not enough to serve. I can serve someone out of a sense of obligation and I will likely eventually resent that person. But if I choose to serve with joy then it will be a privilege to meet their needs. As we spend more time in God’s Presence (see Essential number 1) then He will fill our hearts with joy to serve.

Though you have not seen him, you love him; and even though you do not see him now, you believe in him and are filled with an inexpressible and glorious joy, 9 for you are receiving the goal of your faith, the salvation of your souls.” – 1 Peter 1:8-9

4. Being Best Friends

This one should be obvious, but all too often it’s not the case. I want to make something fairly clear here. I’m not talking about just saying “my wife is my best friend” or “my husband is my best friend” because you know that is what people expect to hear. I’m talking about living your life in such a way that anyone looking from the outside KNOWS you are best friends. Live your life in such a way that anyone looking from the outside KNOWS you are best friends. Click To TweetWhat do best friends do? They have fun and enjoy spending lots of time together, they go out to events together, they laugh and cry together, they share secrets with each other and they are fiercely loyal to one another! Of course your husband or wife is so much more than a best friend, but they must also be your best friend for a truly joy filled marriage.

So, those are four of my Essentials for a Life-Long Joyful Marriage.  What are your thoughts? Did I miss some important others? Do you have thoughts on these? Drop a comment below!

Love you all!

-Troy

My Top 5 Favorite Podcasts

Welcome back! Ready for some GREAT resources that you may not have seen?

As you know I am BIG into personal growth. One of the best ways to grow yourself is to listen to people who are where you want to be.  On that note today we are covering my top 5 favorite podcasts!

Just an FYI I don’t always agree 100% with everything on every podcast I hear, but I my “agreement rate” is VERY high for the ones on this list.

A Little Background

For those of you not familiar with what a podcast is let me give a short explanation. A podcast can be thought of as similar to a radio show, but it’s online. Usually new podcasts episodes are posted weekly, although some follow a different schedule. There are thousands of available podcasts. Podcasts can be listened to directly on a computer or on a mobile phone or tablet.

Technical Stuff

There are two primary podcast applications, iTunes and Stitcher. On an iPhone or iPad just look for the Podcasts app:

podcast-icon

Or if you are on an Android device download Stitcher from Google Play and you will find a logo like this (you can also download Stitcher to Apple devices):

stitcher

Back to the List

These are in no particular order.

  • The 48 Days Online Radio Show by Dan Miller
    • I honestly just discovered Dan Miller late last year (2014). Dan’s mission is to “help you find work that is meaningful, purposeful, and profitable.” What a great goal! With Dan’s help you can discover your passions and turn them into profit in either your own business or by finding a job that matches up with your values and skills. I started out by reading his fantastic book 48 Days to the Work You Love and am now a devoted fan and subscriber to his podcast. In fact Sally and I are going to Dan’s Coaching with Excellence event later this year to learn more about how to help couples in their marriages!
  • Better Conversations on Money and Marriage with Derek and Carrie Olsen
    • Would you like to be entertained? Perhaps while you are learning how to better talk to your spouse about money? Then check out Derek and Carrie. They crack me up AND educate me. Love their podcast…plus at the end of each show they do an after party. They also have a great book available, One Bed, One Bank Account and have a national book tour this summer.
  • This is Your Life by Michael Hyatt
    • First of all Michael is an amazing teacher and leader. He gives away tons of free content and is one of the best for helping you reach your goals and dreams. His book Platform is a must have for anyone who wants to get a message out to the world!
  • In the Loop with Andy Andrews
    • I have been an Andy Andrews fan for well over 20 years. He is one of a small number of people who has a very broad and wise understanding of most aspects of life. His books are story oriented; great reads and contain very specific instructions for how to be successful and joyful in your life. Like Michael Hyatt Andy gives away a LOT of free resources on his site.
  • Confessions of a Terrible Husband by Nick Pavlidis
    • In my own blog I often pit my marriage experience against the “experts.” Well, Nick is an admitted marriage non-expert who does a fantastic job of bringing real-life strategies to his audience. He has great interviews as well as powerful solo episodes. Not to mention he has a new book coming out AND a highly rated other podcast with his kids at Five Minutes with Dad.

Although some of these podcasters may be are Christians that is not the primary focus of their shows.  I have another list of my favorite Christian podcasts that I am considering posting in the future.

I have a question for you. What are some of YOUR favorite podcasts? Post them in the comments below so that we can all find more great content!

Thanks!

-Troy

The Personality Problem

heartlabyrinthsmCredit Freeimages.com

Recently my lovely bride and I were discussing marriage coaching different types of couples and she made an interesting statement. “Not everyone will have our personalities.”

The Issue

When you first get married you will still be in the limerance stage. (If that term isn’t familiar to you check out our post What is Love Anyway.) So for many couples the first few months to 2 years will be the “honeymoon” period. Everyone is perfect; we love everything about each other, etc. But soon enough limerance wears off and it’s back to normal behavior. Which means our personalities rear their (sometimes) ugly heads.

The Question

When Sally made the statement, “Not everyone will have our personalities” what I heard was a question. The question was Is your personality a factor in whether you can have an amazing marriage? Click To Tweet The answer to that question is a definitive “Yes and No”. See? All clear? Class dismissed. 😉

The Yes Part

Your attitudes and actions will be factors in whether you will have an amazing marriage. But your personality will not be a factor in whether you can have an amazing marriage. I’m going to state this unequivocally. Any couple can have an amazing marriage. Any couple. But not every couple does. Click To Tweet Some couple use the “personality excuse” for why their marriage isn’t great. Occasionally the personality excuse is self-directed, “I’m just not cut out for marriage” or “I can’t handle this lifetime commitment.” But more often the personality excuse is based on the other person’s personality. “If he would just pay more attention to me” or “If she wasn’t such a nag.” I’m sure you can come up with many more examples.

The No Part

Your personality is not a factor in whether you can have a happy marriage. Click To Tweet  However what you decide to do (or not do) or say (or not say) will make a HUGE difference in whether or not you have a happy marriage. Sally know a couple who when they were first married had VERY forceful discussions.  Both were firstborn and had high Type A personalities. But now they’ve been married over 20 years and have (at last count) 10 children. Looks like their personalities didn’t affect the happiness of their marriage.

The Crux

One factor that makes a difference between couples that have a happy marriage and those that don’t is fairly simple. Happy couples don’t let their personalities get in the way of their happiness. Click To Tweet If I am honest with myself I know exactly which of my personality traits is unhealthy for my marriage. Once I know where the problem lies I can work on fixing it. Perhaps through books, seminars or counseling, but it can be fixed.

God makes no allowance for personalities in relation to a relationship with Him or others, so we should not use our personalities as excuses for having a less than happy marriage.

He answered, “‘Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength and with all your mind’; and, ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.'”

-Luke 10:27

 

Love you all!

-Troy

The First Tuesday

Get ready. For several months the Happier Husband blog has been primarily focused on the husband’s perspective on how to have a happier marriage. On our Monday blogs that will continue as we have fans who have repeatedly shown their appreciation. On Tuesday…

Broadening Our Horizons

Tuesday blogs will be different. I have two different blog “voices”. One of them is my serious “marriage mentor” type voice. That’s what you’ve read in the past and will usually see on the Monday blogs. On Tuesdays I’ll let go a little bit and lighten things up. Expect generous helpings of sarcasm.  Plus we will add new stuff to the blog mix.

What Kind of New Stuff?

Well we may talk about silly things such as the dress that broke the Internet or Kirk vs. Picard. You may see some great guest bloggers show up. There is a good chance you’ll see some health and fitness posts and maybe even pictures of me with loved ones covered in mud like this one:

WarriorDash

Or the same group in our awesome Warrior Dash hats:

WarriorDashHatsjpg

The Wrap Up

We may talk about books and podcasts. I expect there will be a fair amount of personal growth type stuff.  In short the Tuesday posts will be wide ranging and generally less serious. We will be playing around with them to see what sticks and what doesn’t. They probably won’t all be horrible, but no promises.

So prepare yourself…next Tuesday is coming! I cannot WAIT, this is going to be fun!!!!

-Troy

Don’t Take Yourself Too Seriously

Then our mouth was filled with laughter, and our tongue with shouts of joy; then they said among the nations, “The Lord has done great things for them.”

-Psalm 126:2

In this blog we cover many serious topics. We’ve hit divorce, prayer, alone time with God, how to have a peaceful marriage, getting control of your finances, and many other areas.  But today let’s get serious…about not getting serious.

This Is How I Am

I have this tendency to apply humor in all manner of situations. At work, in church, in meeting new people, it really doesn’t matter. On the blog you don’t see it very often because I write in my “mentor voice”. That’s the one where I feel like I am imparting VERY important knowledge to others. I have to be careful with that or it will turn into my “conceited jerk voice” which I had for many years. But if you meet me out and about you’ll quickly discover I have difficulty being serious for more than 10-20 seconds.

The Value of Humor

Sally and I read from a devotional by Drs. Leslie and Les Parrott. In a recent entry they stated the following, “Any good friend will tell you that Laughter is the shortest distance between two people-and that’s especially true in marriage. -… Click To Tweet.” Shared humor is one of the most powerful ways to draw a couple closer together. As has been proven in studies and likely your own anecdotal evidence a sense of humor is incredibly important in relationships.

Shared Experiences Make for Shared Humor

We have been married now for over 23 years and are very focused on spending as much time together as possible. One of the side benefits of spending a lot of time together is that you will share many humorous experiences. We have a number of small phrases and quotes, sometimes given in particular accents or tones that will cause one or both of us to crack up. A couple of days ago we were watching a movie and during a serious scene I leaned over and threw one of those at her…and she giggled. Most likely she is the only person who would have gotten the joke, because of our shared experiences.

The Health of Your Marriage

In part, the health of your marriage is dependent on the level of shared humor. Get ready for a profound statement. You may need to read it twice. Here it is: If you aren’t having fun together then you aren’t having fun together.

If you aren’t having fun together then you aren’t having fun together. Click To Tweet

The point is you need to intentionally plan times of fun. Some will be spontaneous but planning is sometimes necessary. Watch a funny movie or TV show. Maybe check out some comedy clips online. Go to a live humorous play. Get together with others and play board games. I have to tell you, when we play games with others we are often reduced to tears with the amount of laughter.

In short have more fun together and you will have a MUCH happier marriage!

Love you all!

-Troy