22 Years of Failure

I write about truth in life and marriage.  Everything you read in these blogs is from real experiences that either we or people we love have gone through.  Today I want to share something I failed in…for 22 years.

In 1 Corinthians 11:3 we read, “But I want you to know and realize that Christ is the Head of every man, the head of a woman is her husband, and the Head of Christ is God.

First of all this is NOT about a husband controlling a wife.  The marriage relationship should never be about a power struggle or one person forcing their will on another.  Here is the point, as Christ is the Head of the man (the spiritual Leader) so should the husband be the spiritual leader in the house.

Ok, once more.  The husband should NOT make this into some kind of dictatorial situation.  If we, as husbands, act like Christ does when he leads us then we will be “gentle and humble in heart” (see Matthew 11:29).

Here is where I failed.  I was not acting as a spiritual leader.

Did we go to church?  Yes, pretty much every Sunday and often for other services.  Did we pray?  Yes, individually, but I was not nearly as consistent as I should have been.  Did we have a great marriage?  Yes, thanks be to the Holy Spirit.  Were we as close to each other as we could be spiritually?  Not by a long shot.

I recently heard a statement that changed my behavior in a small way, and our relationship in a huge way.  “According to a study, the reported divorce rate among couples who pray together, out loud, is less than 1 in 10,000.” – Andy Stanley

BOOM!  This is a big deal!  Now, before I heard this were Sally in danger of splitting up?  Highly unlikely as we had a fantastic marriage.  Did I make a change due to this fact?  Absolutely!  Why?  I’ll give you two reasons.

1) I firmly believe in insurance.  :-)  If praying together gives us incredible odds of being together all of our lives then it is a small investment for a very large return.

2) “For where two or three have gathered together in My name, I am there in their midst.” (Matthew 18:20).  I’m pretty sure having Jesus in our midst is the best possible thing for our marriage.  :-)

Was it awkward at first?  Yep.  Is it still awkward?  Not so much.  We read a short (one page) devotional in bed and I pray out loud, sometimes my lovely bride prays as well.  Total time?  Usually less than five minutes.  Total value?  Immeasurable.

Here is the catch.  Someone has to be the one to step up and make this happen.  It’s not natural.  Guess what Mr. Manly Husband?  It’s your responsibility.  Go back and reread 1 Corinthians 11:3.  I had to man up and do it and you should too.  Out loud.  Out loud.  Out loud.  Not silently.  Out loud.  Clear?  😉

I can make a suggestion on a devotional in the comments section if you like, but it’s really not important which one, or you could simply read a verse or two.  The critical thing in praying with your wife, out loud, at least once a day if at all possible.

Try it!  I challenge you to give it a shot for just 7 days.  One week.  Do you accept my challenge?

Let me know in the comments section below.

The results will be amazing!

Now go pray with your wife!

-Troy

  • David Mike

    This is something we lack in doing regularly.

    • http://happierhusband.com Troy

      So did we…but now I’ve made it a priority. You can too my friend! Take the 7 Day Challenge. :-)

    • http://happierhusband.com Troy Stoneking

      So did we…but now I’ve made it a priority. You can too my friend! Take the 7 Day Challenge.

  • Charles Johnston

    We too lack and in turn tend to become disconnected …as a husband it is at times easier to give up the reigns when I should lead.

    • http://happierhusband.com Troy

      That is true and we’ve all been there. For me this has become very important. Even those nights when I’d rather just go to sleep. But it is SO worth the five minutes of time. They need us to lead in this area.

    • http://happierhusband.com Troy Stoneking

      That is true and we’ve all been there. For me this has become very important. Even those nights when I’d rather just go to sleep. But it is SO worth the five minutes of time. They need us to lead in this area.

  • http://www.dadrenaline.com/ Christopher Pilon

    When we do this, it feels so powerful. Yet, we struggle to make it happen consistently.

    • http://happierhusband.com Troy Stoneking

      Honestly, when we were first married (over 23 years ago) we tried doing regular devotions but it wasn’t consistent…just as you’ve said Christopher. But after hearing that startling statistic I knew we had to start back up. The secret is this:make it happen. If I can find 2 minutes each night to brush my teeth and floss then I can find less than five minutes to draw closer to God and Sally. It all starts with a firm decision and an unwillingness to back off, even on the late nights. :-)

      • http://www.dadrenaline.com/ Christopher Pilon

        Well, when you put it that way. :) Seriously, though, this has really been a great reminder for me to ensure that I’m being a leader in that way.

        • http://happierhusband.com Troy Stoneking

          Glad it helped. :-) You’ve got this my friend!

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