How about another fantastic guest blog post from my lovely wife Sally? Here you go, enjoy!
Tell Me Why
OK guys. Why did you marry your spouse? What attracted you to her? Was it her outward appearance? Was it her fun-loving personality? Was she just the sweetest, most beautiful person you had ever met?
Every couple has different things that brought them together. Every couple has different things that brought them together. Click To Tweet It may have been a spark or a smile. Whatever it was, you started dating. Hopefully you got to know each other and you both just brought out the best in each other. Think back to what it was that made you decide, this is the woman I am going to spend the rest of my life with.
It’s Not Just About the Hair…
Most wedding vows include “for better, for worse…in sickness and in health…love, honor and cherish…” Did you really think about the things you vowed as you were saying them? What if she changes physically? Will you still stick by her and love her? What if life changes and becomes increasingly difficult due to a sickness or financial situation? What if…she cuts her hair and the style is one that you can’t stand???
You may think I am crazy, but recently someone I know got a new haircut. It had been a long time and she cut off almost an entire foot of her hair! It wasn’t short, still below her chin in length. It had more bounce and body to it and looked healthy. She LOVED her new hair style!
Then one morning as she was getting ready for work, her husband told her he hated her hair and that it made her ugly. Can you imagine how that made her feel? Maybe not. Maybe you are a straight up, honest, no-nonsense kind of guy and think that you have a right to state your opinion no matter who it may hurt in the process. Wow! Just wow!
Hopefully Not a News Flash
If this is you, then I have something to tell you. This is your wife. She is the one you pledged to love until you died. She is the one who has dedicated her life to you. If you married her for her hair, you definitely have some issues of your own that you need to take care of. Hairstyles can come and go. It can grow back. Self-esteem? Trust? Those things are more difficult to get back once someone has really hurt you.
Here’s a piece of advice. If your wife gets a new hairstyle, find something nice to say. If your wife gets a new hairstyle, find something nice to say. Click To Tweet If it is hideous on her, you better find something nice to say. If you want her old hair back, telling her the new hair ‘makes her ugly’ is NOT the way to go. That will drive a wedge between you and she will be angry and hurt and that anger and hurt will last way longer than it takes for her hair to grow back. You could tell her, much later, in a loving way that you love her no matter what, but your favorite hairstyle is when it is long. By no means should you ever insult her.
Love Her for Who She Is
If you married her for the way she looked, you need to start finding things in her to love that are lasting. Like her spirit, her personality, the way she does what she does. If you can’t think of anything like that, think back to why you chose her in the beginning and go from there. When you base a relationship on the outward appearance or you think that you can just say mean things to her because you want things your way, your relationship is doomed to crumble.
Encourage your spouse! Love your spouse! If you don’t know how to do that, read Gary Chapman’s, ‘The Five Love Languages,’ and learn.