An Unexpected Benefit

About 9 months ago I published a post titled “22 Years of Failure.” If you haven’t read that post (or don’t remember it well) then I believe your marriage would strongly benefit by giving it a fresh look. Today’s post builds on the theme of praying together as a couple…by pointing out an unexpected benefit.



The Good News

According to Dr. David Stoop, a psychologist and family counselor with over 35 years of experience and referencing a study by the National Council on Marriage Enhancement, “less than 1% of couples that pray together would end up getting a divorce.” That is GREAT news! It’s gets me excited to know that simply praying together is amazing insurance for your marriage.

The Sobering Numbers

But that’s not the whole story. Dr. Stoop notes that among Christian couples it is estimated that only 4% pray together daily. Even among couples who are pastors the numbers are only around 6%. These are terribly sad statistics. 94% or more of Christian couples are not praying together regularly. I won’t go into this part much more, because we didn’t pray together regularly ourselves, for the first 22 years of our marriage. But we learned the truth about prayer in marriage pray together nearly every night.

94% or more of Christian couples are not praying together regularly. Click To Tweet

Why Pray Together?

Beyond what we see in the statistics why is praying together important? I pray on my own, it draws my closer to God. When I pray alone I pray for my wife. Why should we pray together as well? Let me ask a question. Have you ever been with someone when they prayed for you? How does it make you feel? Humbled for sure, but besides that. Loved, cared for, appreciated, appreciative, thankful and even joyful? When someone prays for you in your presence it is a special moment. When you pray with your spouse daily then you daily give them that special moment. It’s pretty amazing.

For where two or three are gathered in my name, there am I among them.
-Matthew 18:20

Getting Closer

Prayer draws us closer to God and allows God to draw closer to us.  In drawing closer to God it allows us to better hear His Spirit and direction. From a practical standpoint praying brings God more into our everyday activities. We become more aware of Him, His purposes and plan.

Getting Closer to Your Spouse

Shared prayer draws us closer together to each other. When we pray together not only do we pray for each other, but we hear each others prayers for others and life events. We learn more about each other when we pray together. Praying together adds another level of intimacy to our marriages.

Praying together adds another level of intimacy to our marriages. Click To Tweet

The Unexpected Benefit

In closing let me give you a very real life change that I’ve seen over the last year plus that we have prayed together regularly. We talk more. After praying we will sometimes stay up for a while longer discussing deeper issues in our hearts. We will open up more about where we feel God leading us, about our hopes and dreams. This has spilled over into the same types of discussions even outside of our prayer times. Since we have been praying together we have spent a lot more time talking about what is in our hearts. It’s wonderful!

So let me encourage you to either start or renew praying with your spouse. It takes relatively little time but leads to many benefits…some of which may surprise you.

Love you all!