Category Archives: Happier Husband

Team Up!

Several years ago Sally and I ran a volleyball league at a large church. We had eight teams in the league and did our best to make sure there was a good distribution of players of varying skill levels on each team. But when it came down to game night it was all about the team banding together to win the set.

volleball Photo By Jens karlsson via StockPholio.com

The Problem

One of the saddest things is to watch a marriage break apart. For Christian couples we know why they get divorced, but no matter whether they are Christian or not there is a sure sign that things are not going well. The sign is this: they stop playing for the same team.

The Team

In a family the most critical relationship (after the individual relationships with God) is the marriage relationship. It’s not the relationship with the children, although that is VERY important, it is the husband-wife dynamic. The two of us need to make sure we are always playing for the same team.

What Does This Mean?

Playing for the same team means we always have each others back. We never side with others against our spouse, we don’t correct them in front of other people (especially the children) and we put our spouses needs above our own. It’s pretty clear when two people are no longer playing for the same team. Complaining, back biting, always doing what I want, regularly choosing time with others over time together are all symptoms of this issue.

The Final Result

Playing for different teams, which really means playing on your team of one has dire consequences. It will leave your spouse feeling lonely and rejected. A sense of inadequacy and or depression are common. People in this situation will sometimes seek love outside the marriage. It’s starts out small, a critical word in front of friends, a constant nagging about something someone did wrong, slow emotional detachment. This path frequently leads to the end of a marriage.

“If you keep on biting and devouring each other, watch out or you will be destroyed by each other.”
-Galatians 5:15 (NIV)

The Good News!

The good news is that you can get back on the same team! It takes time and effort, but is very worth it. Interestingly getting back on the same team isn’t necessarily about grand gestures or huge immediate relationship renewal. In the same way the small bad things over time damaged the relationship, small good things over time can heal the relationship. Small bad things over time damage relationships, small good things over time heal relationships. Click To Tweet

Play for the Home Team

“Faithful love and truth will join together; righteousness and peace will embrace.”
-Psalm 85:10 (HCSB)

You only have one spouse. She (or he) married you with the understanding that you would build a life together. Your spouse married you with the understanding that you would build a life together. TOGETHER! Click To TweetPlaying for your own team breaks the covenant you made the day you were married. Here is my challenge to you. Look at your conversations, actions and most importantly attitudes over the last few weeks. Have they been 100% supportive of your spouse? If you had any differences of opinion did you share your thoughts in a loving way or a condescending way? If what you discover shows evidence of playing solo and not for the home team then it’s time to make a change. Get back in the game! Love your wife or husband! Have their back and never give them a reason to doubt your care for and belief in them.

You can do it!

Love you all!

-Troy

4 Essentials for a Life-Long Joyful Marriage

 

Four HeartsPhoto By StockPholio.com

One of the things that many couples wonder is, “What does it take to be happily married…til death do us part?” It’s really not enough to just stay married, because lots of couples stay married, but what does it take to not only stay married, but ENJOY staying married to the same person for decades?

A Caveat

I know that some folks will look at my “4 Essentials” and raise all kinds of concerns about things that are missing. I am not saying these are the only things needed for a long-term joyful marriage, but I am saying without these 4 a marriage won’t be what it could and should.

1. A Personal Relationship with God

I know couples who are not Christians but have been married a long time. I also know those marriages live on the individual strength of each person. This is a very dangerous place. We can go on our own strength for a time, but when things begin to unravel you’ll need Someone to lean on. Your spouse will be a person to lean on at times, but what about when you are both down? If you both hit bottom at the same time and God is not at the core of each of you individually it is far too easy to lash out and walk away. Your spouse must be the love of your life, but not your first love.

2. A Commitment to Stay Married for Life

Recently I heard Andy Andrews say on a podcast, “If you haven’t completely closed the door on considering divorce in your life then your subconscious will always be looking to see if it’s time to walk out.” We have talked in the past about Why Christian Couples Get Divorced, but this is different. There are VERY few commitments you will likely make that are for life and for far too many people, sadly, marriage doesn’t make the list. Oh, it wedding vows they will say, “til death do us part” and perhaps in that moment they believe it. But the strongest couples have made the commitment to stay married for life…when they are NOT in the middle of an emotional event.  The commitment to stay married for life is a conscious decision of the mind, not the heart.

The commitment to stay married for life is a conscious decision of the mind, not the heart Click To Tweet

3. Deciding to Joyfully Serve Your Spouse

Many couples have difficulty with one or both of the first two essentials, but the couples that DO stay together still may not have a lot of joy in their relationship. This essential, deciding to joyfully serve your spouse, is one that doesn’t even come to mind for many couples. First of all, we are called to serve each other:

“Each of you should use whatever gift you have received to serve others, as faithful stewards of God’s grace in its various forms.” – 1 Peter 4:10

But it’s not enough to serve. I can serve someone out of a sense of obligation and I will likely eventually resent that person. But if I choose to serve with joy then it will be a privilege to meet their needs. As we spend more time in God’s Presence (see Essential number 1) then He will fill our hearts with joy to serve.

“Though you have not seen him, you love him; and even though you do not see him now, you believe in him and are filled with an inexpressible and glorious joy, 9 for you are receiving the goal of your faith, the salvation of your souls.” – 1 Peter 1:8-9

4. Being Best Friends

This one should be obvious, but all too often it’s not the case. I want to make something fairly clear here. I’m not talking about just saying “my wife is my best friend” or “my husband is my best friend” because you know that is what people expect to hear. I’m talking about living your life in such a way that anyone looking from the outside KNOWS you are best friends. Live your life in such a way that anyone looking from the outside KNOWS you are best friends. Click To TweetWhat do best friends do? They have fun and enjoy spending lots of time together, they go out to events together, they laugh and cry together, they share secrets with each other and they are fiercely loyal to one another! Of course your husband or wife is so much more than a best friend, but they must also be your best friend for a truly joy filled marriage.

So, those are four of my Essentials for a Life-Long Joyful Marriage.  What are your thoughts? Did I miss some important others? Do you have thoughts on these? Drop a comment below!

Love you all!

-Troy

My Top 5 Favorite Podcasts

Welcome back! Ready for some GREAT resources that you may not have seen?

As you know I am BIG into personal growth. One of the best ways to grow yourself is to listen to people who are where you want to be.  On that note today we are covering my top 5 favorite podcasts!

Just an FYI I don’t always agree 100% with everything on every podcast I hear, but I my “agreement rate” is VERY high for the ones on this list.

A Little Background

For those of you not familiar with what a podcast is let me give a short explanation. A podcast can be thought of as similar to a radio show, but it’s online. Usually new podcasts episodes are posted weekly, although some follow a different schedule. There are thousands of available podcasts. Podcasts can be listened to directly on a computer or on a mobile phone or tablet.

Technical Stuff

There are two primary podcast applications, iTunes and Stitcher. On an iPhone or iPad just look for the Podcasts app:

podcast-icon

Or if you are on an Android device download Stitcher from Google Play and you will find a logo like this (you can also download Stitcher to Apple devices):

stitcher

Back to the List

These are in no particular order.

  • The 48 Days Online Radio Show by Dan Miller
    • I honestly just discovered Dan Miller late last year (2014). Dan’s mission is to “help you find work that is meaningful, purposeful, and profitable.” What a great goal! With Dan’s help you can discover your passions and turn them into profit in either your own business or by finding a job that matches up with your values and skills. I started out by reading his fantastic book 48 Days to the Work You Love and am now a devoted fan and subscriber to his podcast. In fact Sally and I are going to Dan’s Coaching with Excellence event later this year to learn more about how to help couples in their marriages!
  • Better Conversations on Money and Marriage with Derek and Carrie Olsen
    • Would you like to be entertained? Perhaps while you are learning how to better talk to your spouse about money? Then check out Derek and Carrie. They crack me up AND educate me. Love their podcast…plus at the end of each show they do an after party. They also have a great book available, One Bed, One Bank Account and have a national book tour this summer.
  • This is Your Life by Michael Hyatt
    • First of all Michael is an amazing teacher and leader. He gives away tons of free content and is one of the best for helping you reach your goals and dreams. His book Platform is a must have for anyone who wants to get a message out to the world!
  • In the Loop with Andy Andrews
    • I have been an Andy Andrews fan for well over 20 years. He is one of a small number of people who has a very broad and wise understanding of most aspects of life. His books are story oriented; great reads and contain very specific instructions for how to be successful and joyful in your life. Like Michael Hyatt Andy gives away a LOT of free resources on his site.
  • Confessions of a Terrible Husband by Nick Pavlidis
    • In my own blog I often pit my marriage experience against the “experts.” Well, Nick is an admitted marriage non-expert who does a fantastic job of bringing real-life strategies to his audience. He has great interviews as well as powerful solo episodes. Not to mention he has a new book coming out AND a highly rated other podcast with his kids at Five Minutes with Dad.

Although some of these podcasters may be are Christians that is not the primary focus of their shows.  I have another list of my favorite Christian podcasts that I am considering posting in the future.

I have a question for you. What are some of YOUR favorite podcasts? Post them in the comments below so that we can all find more great content!

Thanks!

-Troy

The Personality Problem

heartlabyrinthsmCredit Freeimages.com

Recently my lovely bride and I were discussing marriage coaching different types of couples and she made an interesting statement. “Not everyone will have our personalities.”

The Issue

When you first get married you will still be in the limerance stage. (If that term isn’t familiar to you check out our post What is Love Anyway.) So for many couples the first few months to 2 years will be the “honeymoon” period. Everyone is perfect; we love everything about each other, etc. But soon enough limerance wears off and it’s back to normal behavior. Which means our personalities rear their (sometimes) ugly heads.

The Question

When Sally made the statement, “Not everyone will have our personalities” what I heard was a question. The question was Is your personality a factor in whether you can have an amazing marriage? Click To Tweet The answer to that question is a definitive “Yes and No”. See? All clear? Class dismissed. 😉

The Yes Part

Your attitudes and actions will be factors in whether you will have an amazing marriage. But your personality will not be a factor in whether you can have an amazing marriage. I’m going to state this unequivocally. Any couple can have an amazing marriage. Any couple. But not every couple does. Click To Tweet Some couple use the “personality excuse” for why their marriage isn’t great. Occasionally the personality excuse is self-directed, “I’m just not cut out for marriage” or “I can’t handle this lifetime commitment.” But more often the personality excuse is based on the other person’s personality. “If he would just pay more attention to me” or “If she wasn’t such a nag.” I’m sure you can come up with many more examples.

The No Part

Your personality is not a factor in whether you can have a happy marriage. Click To Tweet  However what you decide to do (or not do) or say (or not say) will make a HUGE difference in whether or not you have a happy marriage. Sally know a couple who when they were first married had VERY forceful discussions.  Both were firstborn and had high Type A personalities. But now they’ve been married over 20 years and have (at last count) 10 children. Looks like their personalities didn’t affect the happiness of their marriage.

The Crux

One factor that makes a difference between couples that have a happy marriage and those that don’t is fairly simple. Happy couples don’t let their personalities get in the way of their happiness. Click To Tweet If I am honest with myself I know exactly which of my personality traits is unhealthy for my marriage. Once I know where the problem lies I can work on fixing it. Perhaps through books, seminars or counseling, but it can be fixed.

God makes no allowance for personalities in relation to a relationship with Him or others, so we should not use our personalities as excuses for having a less than happy marriage.

He answered, “‘Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength and with all your mind’; and, ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.'”

-Luke 10:27

 

Love you all!

-Troy

Don’t Take Yourself Too Seriously

Then our mouth was filled with laughter, and our tongue with shouts of joy; then they said among the nations, “The Lord has done great things for them.”

-Psalm 126:2

In this blog we cover many serious topics. We’ve hit divorce, prayer, alone time with God, how to have a peaceful marriage, getting control of your finances, and many other areas.  But today let’s get serious…about not getting serious.

This Is How I Am

I have this tendency to apply humor in all manner of situations. At work, in church, in meeting new people, it really doesn’t matter. On the blog you don’t see it very often because I write in my “mentor voice”. That’s the one where I feel like I am imparting VERY important knowledge to others. I have to be careful with that or it will turn into my “conceited jerk voice” which I had for many years. But if you meet me out and about you’ll quickly discover I have difficulty being serious for more than 10-20 seconds.

The Value of Humor

Sally and I read from a devotional by Drs. Leslie and Les Parrott. In a recent entry they stated the following, “Any good friend will tell you that Laughter is the shortest distance between two people-and that’s especially true in marriage. - Leslie and Les Parrott Click To Tweet.” Shared humor is one of the most powerful ways to draw a couple closer together. As has been proven in studies and likely your own anecdotal evidence a sense of humor is incredibly important in relationships.

Shared Experiences Make for Shared Humor

We have been married now for over 23 years and are very focused on spending as much time together as possible. One of the side benefits of spending a lot of time together is that you will share many humorous experiences. We have a number of small phrases and quotes, sometimes given in particular accents or tones that will cause one or both of us to crack up. A couple of days ago we were watching a movie and during a serious scene I leaned over and threw one of those at her…and she giggled. Most likely she is the only person who would have gotten the joke, because of our shared experiences.

The Health of Your Marriage

In part, the health of your marriage is dependent on the level of shared humor. Get ready for a profound statement. You may need to read it twice. Here it is: If you aren’t having fun together then you aren’t having fun together.

If you aren’t having fun together then you aren’t having fun together. Click To Tweet

The point is you need to intentionally plan times of fun. Some will be spontaneous but planning is sometimes necessary. Watch a funny movie or TV show. Maybe check out some comedy clips online. Go to a live humorous play. Get together with others and play board games. I have to tell you, when we play games with others we are often reduced to tears with the amount of laughter.

In short have more fun together and you will have a MUCH happier marriage!

Love you all!

-Troy

Things Are About to Get Better

Today’s post is different than most. First some news then a chance for you to give your opinion.

The News You Need

Over the next 90-120 days we will be making significant improvements to http://happierhusband.com. We will still have our regular husband focused blog but we will be adding many other great resources. Possibly a second blog that is not just for the guys that includes marriage and personal growth material.

We are looking at perhaps a set of recommended resources that Troy has been using. This may include books, podcasts, events and such. Even tips for taking care of your body may be included.

We really want to turn the http://happierhusband.com/ into a destination to grow your marriage, your spirit and your health. In addition we will be offering marriage coaching packages to take our personal experience and work directly with you to help you have an AMAZING marriage!

Did I mention a total website redesign is also in the works?

Where You Come In

We have ideas and are praying…but we are looking for input. If you have suggestions or thoughts about content or would like to see some specific topic(s) covered then we want to know!

The first change will start right away. We will be modifying the days we release new blog posts. So no more Wednesday and Sunday posts…our studies show that to reach and help more people Monday and Tuesday are the best days. So look for our next new post this coming Monday!

To give us your input just comment below, hit me up on Twitter @happierhusband or http://Facebook.com/troystoneking.

I am VERY excited about the improvements you are all going to see!

Thanks and love you all!

 -Troy

 

Are You Living in Fear…of Your Spouse?

My wife is 5 feet tall. Not 5’9”, 5’7”, 5’5” or even 5’3”. She is 5 feet even. When we stand she fits perfectly under my chin. I have bench pressed more than her weight. She is beautiful, sweet, kind and loving…and small. I love her size, it fits her perfectly.

You Wouldn’t Think

With the above description you would never think I could fear her. Not that she isn’t strong; she works out and has some significant muscle mass. But there are times when I have fear related to her. Not physical fear but fear just the same.

The Story

Recently I’ve been reading Dan Miller’s book 48 Days to the Work You Love. It is a great way to learn how to find work that is fulfilling and matches up with your passions and skills. I’ve learned very much and have begun listening to Dan’s podcast. It is filled with success stories of people who have found work they love as well as answers to questions for those still looking.

If you were reading this blog back in September of 2014 you know that my lovely bride and I went on a personal focus retreat with a small group from our church. One big take away from that retreat was that marriage coaching is an area that I need to move into. Since then we have done marriage mentoring certification with a Les and Leslie Parrott program and it was great! But we haven’t really done much on the coaching side.

What I Want to Do

The podcast and website for Dan Miller both referred to a live event called, “Coaching with Excellence”. It is two days of intensive coaching training with experts and about 40 other people from around the world. Do you know it is just south of Nashville, Tennessee in a beautiful country area inside of a converted barn called “The Sanctuary”? Plus it’s in late May, a perfect time to be in Tennessee. Not to mention the fact that we could stay a couple of extra days and celebrate our anniversary there. Are you waiting for the catch? Here it is: after everything the total cost will be a significant amount of money.

The Reason for My Fear

I KNOW we don’t just have that extra money lying around. But I firmly believe that long term the money will be an investment to help many other couples have amazing marriages. In addition I know that by serving others in this way and honoring His gift in our marriage by sharing it that God will bless us. However I was afraid to talk to Sally. She works hard to keep our financial house in order and does a fantastic job! I didn’t want to cause her difficulty and I knew we had a budget. So the fear was simply about doing something that would throw us off balance and make it harder on her.

“Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous, do not be afraid; do not be discouraged, for the Lord you God will be with you wherever you go.”

-Joshua 1:9

The Conversation

I danced around the issue for some time. Then we were both given free access to a recording of a conference call that explained more about the live event. It was very compelling to me. I could hear the Lord speaking through that recording that we needed to go to the event. So in the evening I asked if she had a chance to listen to the recording and she had. I then told her I thought we needed to go. Do you know what she said? She told me where to get the money to pay for it. She was all in! In fact she started working on the pre-event packet even before I did.  It was so cool. Clearly God was in this.

What Cured the Fear?

Do you know what cured the fear? Belief. Just belief. I believed that it was going to help others, it would help us and it would honor God. We need to all remember how we grow as people. Our beliefs determine our actions and our actions determine our results. If your beliefs are strong enough then you can’t hold back!

The Wrap Up

I think there are three important points to take from this experience:

  1. Sometimes you will feel fear when you need to talk to your spouse.
  2. The strength of your beliefs will allow you to overcome the fear.
  3. The conversation will almost never turn out the way you fear.

So the next time you strongly believe that something needs to be changed or you feel God calling you into an area I’ll give you a suggestion. Just start the conversation immediately.

“Fear feeds on time.”

-Grant Cardone in The 10X Rule.

Your spouse loves you and wants the best for you and your family. So jump in and talk…perhaps you will change the future of many people!

Love you all!

-Troy

What Do You See?

I want you to think back to when you first met the woman who would become your wife. What did you notice? A beautiful smile? An alluring figure? Eyes filled with kindness? An irresistible laugh? Perhaps more than one of the above.

Let your wife be a fountain of blessing for you. Rejoice in the wife of your youth.

-Proverbs 5:18

Beauty is Not in the Eye

One of the challenges of being a man is seeing beyond the looks of another person. We are by default drawn to physical beauty. It is in fact highly likely that one of the primary reasons you asked your wife-to-be on your first date…because she caught your eye. There are many beautiful women in the world and you are married to one. It doesn’t matter whether she is 19 or 99, she is a beautiful person. It’s not what you see with your eye that matters, it’s what you know in your heart to be true.

Charm is deceptive and beauty fleeting, but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised.
-Proverbs 31:30

A Reputation…and a T-Shirt

I have a reputation with Sally’s family in Michigan. You see I frequently refer to my lovely bride as “hot”. A few years ago we were gathered together at their cottage near Kalkaska, MI (if you are ever looking for the cottage I believe it is right next to Heaven) exchanging early Christmas gifts over Thanksgiving weekend. When I opened my present I laughed out loud! It was a t-shirt that said,”I Love My Hot Wife”. But that wasn’t the end. When Sally opened her gift it was also a t-shirt, that said “I’m Troy’s Hot Wife.” Too funny!

cropped-IMG_1606.jpg

Where True Beauty Lives

My wife IS a beautiful woman. She works hard every day with her eating habits and regular exercise to maintain the amazing body that the Lord has given her for this life. But true beauty isn’t in a lovely face or a stellar figure. True beauty lives in the spirit of a person. As most of you know I am a firm believer in good health and maintaining the physical strength that the Lord has given you for as long as possible. But a person is so much more than the body they inhabit. Every person is a child of the Most High King.

The Love of Your Life

Your wife is not her body, but her body is important to you and to her. You need to love her as a whole person, body, soul and spirit. Tell her how beautiful she is, compliment her on her love for others, encourage her as she volunteers her time for service. Never let a change in a person’s physical health or appearance keep you from finding the beauty inside. We are all spiritual beings living in physical shells. It is critically important to care for the whole person. Don’t only pay attention to the body, but love the spirit inside.

Help Her Grow in Beauty

As you and your bride watch the days and months of your marriage turn into years and decades things will change in both of your bodies. You can do many things to improve the process…in fact in our 40s Sally and I are both in MUCH better health and shape than we were in our 20s. But one of the interesting things about aging is this: to the world people lose their beauty as they grow older…but if we spend more time in the Presence of the Lord then as we age we become more and more beautiful in spirit. I challenge you as the spiritual leader in your home to do everything you can to help her grow in beauty, while you do the same.

A wife of noble character who can find?
She is worth far more than rubies.
Her husband has full confidence in her
and lacks nothing of value.
She brings him good, not harm,
all the days of her life.
-Proverbs 31:10-12

Love you all!

-Troy

 

Don’t Break Her Heart…or the Bank

This post is being written on Valentine’s Day. I have to start by saying that I’m not a fan. Not that I don’t like love and romance, but I don’t enjoy the pressure of having a specific day dictated by society for them.

A Typical Valentine’s Day

As you know my lovely bride and I are deeply and wildly in love. But we have never been huge into Valentine’s Day. As a general rule we go out for dinner, get each other nice cards expressing sincere sentiment and exchange some small gifts.

This Year

Interestingly enough this year was different…but only in a single aspect and we both were pleased. We still went out for a meal and I gave her a small gift, while she gave me a few small gifts. But I was so excited to give mine to her because it was attached to a card. But not just any card, I made this card myself. I channeled my inner 3rd grade boy, cut out colored paper hearts, wrote in multiple marker colors and made silly kid-type jokes. Oh, I also taped a plastic spoon to the back (because attached was a gift card to an ice cream shop).

The Kicker

I was excited to be a little kid giving away a handmade card to the girl I love. But here is the REALLY fun part. In the basket with the gifts she gave me was a card…handmade as well! It was decked out with a heart made of half lace and construction paper, had words and phrases from sections cut out of magazine ads and even a picture of flowers. She went all out! I loved it!! (Note that she called the card she made “Stalker Style”…it’s an inside joke J)

The Point

It really doesn’t have to be an expensive proposition to express heartfelt love. I would treasure a card from her own hand much more than one someone else wrote. In addition it showed her individual personality and whimsical style, two things about her that I love greatly. When the occasion arises, whether a holiday or any other precious day with your lady give her a gift. But don’t worry about the cost…only that it is a true gift from your heart.

The Card

The first picture is the front and back, the second picture is the inside. It makes me feel very happy and loved!

 

valentines1

valentines2

Love you all!

 

-Troy

How to a Have a Dynamic Marriage

Early this morning I was reading from the Gospel of Luke and in part of the passage the following words of Jesus were recorded, “And so I tell you, keep on asking, and you will receive what you ask for. Keep on seeking, and you will find. Keep on knocking, and the door will be opened to you. For everyone who asks, receives. Everyone who seeks, finds. And to everyone who knocks, the door will be opened.” – Luke 11:9-10

This is an important passage to me and many other Christians. It is Jesus teaching on the subject of persistence in prayer. Here Jesus teaches me to keep asking in prayer…even beyond when I feel like quitting. I’m learning and growing in this principle.

Before That

Even before reading that section of scripture I had already done a Joyce Meyer devotional based on Psalm 17:22 with the title, “A Happy Heart is Good Medicine.” Between the devotional and the passage above I watched two short (less than two minutes each) YouTube Christian motivational videos.

During the Day

While driving to the gym and work I listened to a podcast on how to grow an Internet business from Jeremy Frandsen and Jason Van Orden. During a couple of periods of down time I was reading the book, The Answer by John Assaraf. Oh! I almost forgot that I read two blog posts, one from Dan Miller called “Jobs Come and Go – But Beauty and Grace Continue” and “Stop Waiting to Make Perfect Decisions” by Jon Acuff.

A Bit of Sally’s Day

Today Sally spent time reading scriptures. She is also reading a wonderful book by Lysa Terkuerst titled, “Your Best Yes.” Like me she listened to a podcast Jeremy and Jason. She read the same blog posts from Jon Acuff and Dan Miller. Tonight we will take some quiet time together to do a devotional for married couples before we pray and go to sleep.

Both of us are regularly reading, listening to and or watching information that will help us grow personally. In addition we have written down goals and posted things we plan to do together.

What We Talk About

Do you know what we talk about? We talk about the normal things, jobs, money, what to have for dinner, our workouts, errands that must be run and groceries that must be purchased. Do you know what else we talk about? We talk about the exciting things we learned from watching, reading and listening. We talk about goals and dreams and specific plans to accomplish them.

The Result

We have some times where things are a bit down and challenging. But honestly all of the growing and sharing keeps our marriage fresh and new! As you probably already know Sally is my best friend. I love spending time with her, talking and sharing. In addition my greatest periods of growth have occurred because she helps me to move past obstacles. When I am at my weakest times I open my heart and she fills me with encouragement and hope. As she grows and learns she shares what she has discovered to help me grow. Not only our relationship but our finances and business plans are improved because of this continual personal and spiritual growth.

What About You?

Is your marriage a dynamic event? Do you and your spouse share about things you are learning and discovering during your personal times of study and growth? Or perhaps all of your conversations revolve around the mundane daily details of life. Now, those conversations are necessary. Dishes must be done, children must be chauffeured, meals must be made and clothes must be washed. But are you both, individually and as a couple, intentionally growing as you move throughout your days? Are you purposefully seeking out materials that will make you a stronger Christian, better spouse and parent, more efficient in your work or business, and learning better how to help others? If you are then let me applaud you! No kidding…I just applauded you out loud (good thing Sally isn’t here right now, she might think I’m losing it :-)).

It’s Time to Grow

If you aren’t growing and sharing about your growth it’s not hard to change. Start small, read a few passages in the Bible and ask the Lord to help you grow. Read at least 10 minutes a day in a book that will improve some aspect of your life. Instead of listening to sports, music or talk radio as you drive play a podcast or audio book to help you develop. Sit down and come up with a goal you would like to accomplish together and write it down. Take a few minutes at night to read a devotional and pray together. These activities can take an average marriage and turn it into one that is fun, intellectually stimulating, financially improving and spiritually powerful. They can give you the dynamic marriage you crave!

You can do it!

Love you all!

-Troy