Marriage is Not Dutch (Unless You are from the Netherlands)

Hey!  Welcome back!  After some fairly hard hitting stuff I am pleasantly surprised you returned!  How about we just have a little fun.  Have you ever gone out to eat with a group and everyone decided to ‘go Dutch’.  In case you aren’t familiar with it this phrase means that each person pays for their own meals.  That’s fair, no one has a big bill and no one feels obligated to pay the next time you go out together.  But in marriage you can never, ‘go Dutch’ (unless you are actually Dutch, then it means something else entirely).

What am I saying here?  In a marriage I should never have the attitude that “you put in your required time and effort and I’ll put in my required time and effort and it will be all good.”  Hmmmm.  That seems to be logical.  In fact it seems fair.  But being fair won’t make a happy marriage.  Let me give you a quote that should help here.

“Give, and it will be given to you. A good measure, pressed down, shaken together and running over, will be poured into your lap. For with the measure you use, it will be measured to you.”
-Luke 6:38

At first glance this seems to be the principle of being “fair” as stated by Jesus.  You give a little, I give a little we’ll both be happy.  But do you want a little?  Do you want a marriage based on the minimum from your spouse?  I know I don’t.  If giving a little means getting a little then what does giving a lot mean?  It’s in the last sentence.  ”For with the measure you use, it will be measured to you.”

If you want the best possible marriage then you should become the best possible spouse.

An author I highly respect, Dr. Henry Cloud, put it this way in his book, 9 Things You Simply Must Do to Succeed in Love and Life

“Give back better than you are given.”

Men, if you want to have an incredibly loving, caring, giving, compassionate wife then make it YOUR goal to be MORE loving, caring giving and compassionate than she is right now.  You can’t lose with this principle!

Go love her, she deserves it!