Three Words

I work in the Information Technology (IT) industry.  It IT there are many different companies producing millions of products with varying usefulness to the consumer.  A few really big companies have had a major effect on our day to day lives.  Microsoft, Apple, Amazon and several others have made an incredible difference.  Did you know that each of these companies has a mission statement?  Some even have a slogan that you’ve seen in advertising.  Perhaps you remember “Think Different” from Apple or “Your Potential.  Our Passion.” from Microsoft.

Do you know the unofficial slogan of Google?  Three words.  “Don’t Be Evil“.  Whether or not you believe Google has done well not “being evil” you do have to appreciate the simplicity and sincerity.  Don’t Be Evil.  It takes you back to comic books or goofy movies with evil geniuses and slightly dopey heroes.  Don’t Be Evil.  A lot of good can be done by a company that has decided evil will not be one of its goals.  Not that a company starts out with an evil plan, but occasionally companies end up doing things that some people might consider to be “evil”.

The statement “Don’t Be Evil” can act as a constant reminder of where not to go.  To stay on a “good” path.  I like it.  A bit whimsical and a clear goal.  No matter what you do Google, Don’t Be Evil.

Did you know that are three words in marriage that can also lay out a clear goal and change everything?  Three words that when adhered to will make a marriage incredibly happy.  Three words that can take any negative interaction in a marriage and turn it around…in mere seconds.

In the book of Philippians Paul alludes to the three words.  “Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit. Rather, in humility value others above yourselves.” (Philippians 2:3).

Ready for the three words?  Here they are:

Don’t Be Selfish

That’s it.  Don’t Be Selfish.  At this point perhaps you are thinking something like such as, “Well of course!  Don’t be selfish is a given.  I’m not selfish.  Thanks for wasting my time telling me something I already knew.”

Here is where a lot of people miss the importance of Don’t Be Selfish.  We know not to be selfish, we have been told that most of our lives.  It’s biblical.  It’s obvious…and we often overlook it.  How?

In the middle of a difference of opinion with your spouse.  A fight for those of you who have fights.  (If you are still having fights with your spouse you might want to read Stop Fighting. :-))  When you are in the heat of the moment, doing your best to get YOUR opinion out and make things go your way…is that selfish?

It’s movie night.  You want an action movie, one where a LOT of stuff blows up.  She wants a romantic comedy.  Do you try subtly (subconsciously I’m sure) to guilt her into your choice?  Don’t Be Selfish.

I REALLY want “Don’t Be Selfish” to hit me whenever I’m getting a little too much of me in our plans.  What about you?

Here is the final point.  If both of you are keeping “Don’t Be Selfish” at the top of your minds your marriage will be AMAZING!  Why?  Because each of you is working to make the happiness of the other as more important than your own.  Ask the Lord to bring “Don’t Be Selfish” to your mind whenever you are about to cross the line into selfishness.

Now go out there and Don’t Be Selfish!


(PS: Have you taken the One Thing challenge yet?  It’s not too late!)


  • Jeffery Ingram

    Don’t be Selfish is a great way to think. As a human it can be hard to remember this. However, When I remember it also makes me a happier husband!

    • Troy Stoneking

      Yes it does! Thanks for the comment Jeffery. :-)

  • David Mike

    I often say that the opposite of love is selfishness. When you you are inwardly focused, everyone else suffers. When you are outwardly focused everyone is blessed. This is true in all relationships, but especially in marriage.

    • Troy Stoneking


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