Earlier today Sally and I were at a dinner following a funeral for the mother of a close friend. At one point I walked up to her talking to another person as Sally said, “There is very little that Troy and I don’t do together.” She is absolutely correct and the reason is that she is not only my wife, she is my best friend.
Let me ask you a question. Who is your best friend? No, no, no, not the one you tell everyone. Who is REALLY your best friend? Do you know the simple way to tell a person’s best friend? With whom do they voluntarily spend time? Who is their go-to person? That is their best friend, no matter what they say. I pray it is your wife.
What About the Guys?
There is nothing wrong with having friends who are not your spouse. It’s incredibly healthy to have a good group of friends. But here is what isn’t healthy: complaining about your wife to your friends.
The Unjustified Justification
Let me guess what you may be thinking, “When I get together with my friends we all talk about our wives. It’s just what guys do.” Well it’s true that is what many men do. It is very common. If you want an average marriage (or worse) then feel free to keep whining about what your wife does or does not do to everyone but her.
“If another believer sins against you, go privately and point out the offense. If the other person listens and confesses it, you have won that person back.”
The Better Way
In the above verse Jesus says the first step in conflict resolution is to talk to the person with whom you have the conflict. If there is something in your marriage that is bothering you then go to your wife…not another person. You likely wouldn’t go gossiping nor complaining about your best guy friend to other guys, shouldn’t you show the love of your life even more respect and courtesy?
I know this one is a bit hard hitting but it’s an important issue. In television you often see men sitting around putting their wives down. It’s almost a contest to see who has the worst story. You don’t want to be that guy.
I honestly think you should talk about your wife when she isn’t around. I think you should go out of your way to do so. But it needs to always be uplifting and complimentary. Others need to know how much you love and appreciate her. Especially your children. You want to be a great dad? Tell your kids how much you love their mother! Show them by your actions. Be THAT guy!
Now go talk up your wife.
Love you all!