I’m a little bit of an athlete. Five or six days a week you’ll find me at the gym lifting weights, doing ab work or running many miles. This year I plan to do a half marathon and am in the middle of a training program. But I’m really not into watching sports.
My Football Confession
As I sit right now there is a football game on the television. It’s not just any football game; it’s the Cotton Bowl with Michigan State vs Baylor. Yeah, I had to Google it as I haven’t really been focused on which bowl game was on. Considering that I’m currently less than 30 miles from the MSU campus it’s the appropriate game to have on TV. I really only watch football two times during the year, 1) Superbowl Sunday – snacks and commercials baby! 2) Any time I’m with Sally’s extended family. Here is the deal, I know enough about football and the terms and rules to participate as a fan watching the game. But it really holds no great interest for me.
Why I Care About Football
Today happens to be New Year’s Day and the people in Sally’s family are BIG Michigan State fans. So am I. Not because I really love MSU, but rather because I want to support their point of view and be part of the experience. I care about football because they care about football. Am I being dishonest? No, because I’m happy to admit it’s not my thing. (FYI I just yelled “DRAT!” at the television. Baylor scored…yep, I’m participating. :-)) It is of interest to them so it is of interest to me…when we are together.
What Does This Have to Do With Knitting?
Some time ago my lovely wife took up knitting. It’s a hobby that allows her to express her creative side. Frankly it saved us a bunch of money this most recent Christmas because she knitted several gifts. She often asks me while she is making a scarf whether or not I like it. We go shopping together for yarn and she asks my opinion on colors of yarn for particular people. I throw in my thoughts and genuinely try to help.
Why I Care About Knitting
My wife enjoys knitting. It brings her joy. Do I knit? Nope. Is knitting something I would like to take up as a hobby myself? Not in the least. But do I appreciate her skills? Absolutely! Do I complain when we are at Michael’s? Never? Why not? Two reasons: 1) She enjoys it so I do as well. 2) I want to share as many experiences with her as possible. It still amazes me that she can take a ball of yarn and 45 minutes later be holding a scarf that she created! Seriously. I don’t have that type of talent.
What is the Point?
Two of the aspects of every healthy relationship in life are shared interests and supporting each other. If your spouse has something they truly enjoy and or deeply care about and you ignore or disregard it then they will often feel that as personal rejection. Like it or not people take their hobbies very seriously. A little bit of support or encouragement can go a long way in drawing closer together in the relationship. Pay attention, participate and learn to enjoy the process. Who knows, you may find yourself really getting into it. I have a brother in law who started knitting with his wife and now together they produce all kinds of handmade projects that are sold to support university students who are going on mission trips.
One Small Warning
Remember there is a difference between having even a small amount of honest interest and feigning interest. No pretending! She’ll see right through it. Take the time to get a little bit involved. Make a decision to give it a shot. She’ll appreciate your sincere effort. Never forget the point, you want to grow closer to her. Sharing an interest that is important to her can be a great way to make that happen.
“…I have become all things to all people so that by all possible means I might save some.”
– 1 Corinthians 9:22b
Now go out there and enjoy each other!
-Troy
