Why I Won’t Listen to this Song

DISCLAIMER: You may like this song, perhaps it speaks to you. That’s fine. But as far as I’m concerned it has the absolute wrong message about marriage.

MusicalNotesPhoto By MaxiuB via StockPholio.com

I listen to a fair amount of music. Not as much as I used to because now I enjoy great podcasts and audio books. Even so I enjoy music, both Christian and secular. Full confession, in the last couple of months I’ve purchased several songs on my phone via iTunes because I heard them on the local Christian radio station or playing in the gym. I’m sure Apple appreciates that. :-)

I Caught a Snippet

Recently I was listening to the Christian station and caught a short segment of a song. It was just the first few lines as I was about to get out of the car. It was a REAL downer about marriage, but I assumed (like many songs) that it would move into more positive territory. Alas due to time constraints I didn’t get to find out the ending.

A Few Days Later

Not long after that I was in the car and heard the song all the way through. I have to say I had a VERY strong negative reaction to the song. Hey! Don’t forget the disclaimer at the beginning of this post. :-) Moving on…

So You Know

Before I go any further I’ll end the mystery. The song is Broken Together by Casting Crowns. Here is the link for you to check out the lyrics yourself. If you like the video is also available. I would like to say at this point I really enjoy many Casting Crowns songs. Praise You in this Storm, Glorious Day and Voice of Truth all have wonderful messages of God’s love and power and His care for us.

What’s the Problem with the Song?

A few days ago we were out to lunch with some friends and this song came up in the conversation. One person, someone who is very discerning made a clear explanation of what’s wrong with this song. She simply said, “It doesn’t offer any hope.” She’s right. Let me explain.

This song doesn't offer any hope. Click To Tweet

The Hopeless Lyrics

Here is the chorus of the song:

Maybe you and I were never meant to be complete
Could we just be broken together?
If you can bring your shattered dreams and Ill bring mine
Could healing still be spoken and save us?
The only way we’ll last forever is broken together.

Now let me throw in a bit of scripture:

So you also are complete through your union with Christ, who is the head over every ruler and authority. Colossians 2:10

It sounds to me like we were meant to be complete. We were meant to be complete! Click To Tweet Now I realize that as Christians we all go through times of brokenness and loss. I know that it takes time to heal after such events. But to declare, “The only way we’ll last forever is broken together” is to deny the ability of God to bring wholeness to us individually and as a couple. In addition it makes it seem like your marriage will ALWAYS be difficult and painful and you’ll never be satisfied and happy together. Is that the story you want for your marriage? Decades of brokenness and pain? If that was what you truly believed you might be looking for a way out.

The Truth

The truth is that no married couple has to expect to be “broken together” in order to “last forever”. Let’s get some words from Jesus:

The thief’s purpose is to steal and kill and destroy. My purpose is to give them a rich and satisfying life.” John 10:10

That doesn’t sound like being “broken together” to me. Jesus came to bring us a “rich and satisfying life” or in another translation, for us to have life and to have it “abundantly”. Finally, in Luke 4:18 Jesus quotes from the prophet Isaiah including the line that He was sent, “to heal the brokenhearted“.

So is true that “the only way we’ll last forever is to be broken together“? No, and if people believe that then they very likely won’t last forever.

Do you agree? Disagree? Please let me know in the comments!

Love you all!


  • http://www.ricktheule.com/ Rick Theule

    Interesting. I don’t believe I’ve heard the song yet. Troy, maybe you should try to touch base with the band members to get more insight into the lyrics? It’d be and interesting interview.

    • http://happierhusband.com Troy

      It would be an interesting interview. But I’m not trying to hurt song sales or damage the reputation of the band, as I noted in the post I like much of their work. I don’t plan to attempt to contact them directly…they put their thoughts on the website. I just don’t agree with what I see as the message of the song. Thanks for commenting Rick!

  • David Mike

    We talk about being broken a lot at my church. It seems to be more about letting people know that “real is better than perfect.” Kind of a “come as you are” mentality. However, sometime I feel like we miss the abundant life message.

    • http://happierhusband.com Troy

      I’m with you David. I’ve gone through times of brokenness…very recently I might add. But God has healed my broken heart and yes, moved me toward a more abundant life! Thanks for being so faithful to read and share. :-)

  • Ranessa Jones

    thank you. I can not listen to this song. It bothers so much. Glad I am not the only one. We are meant to be whole and the premise of this says we aren’t. I just can’t get past the lyrics. When I started reading this installment of your blog I had wondered if it was this song.

    • http://happierhusband.com Troy

      You are VERY welcome Ranessa! I agree 100%!!

  • Heatherornotsho

    this song is my frenemy. I love it, I get it, but if ya don’t, it seems hopeless. It’s permission to be real about brokeness, and the glorious truth is that in our broken state they are crying out to God for healing and help…

    How it must have been so lonely by my side

    We were building kingdoms and chasing dreams and left love behind

    I’m praying God will help our broken hearts align

    And we won’t give up the fight

    It’s going to take much more than promises this time

    Only God can change our minds.

    • http://happierhusband.com Troy

      I get it…from my perspective, that last line I didn’t put in the blog post, but it has issues too. God doesn’t change people’s minds. If He did then everyone would follow Him. The Holy Spirit can reach out to us and show us where we need to change, but we have to make the decision to do so. Also I’m ok with people who are real about brokenness…but Christ can restore us so we aren’t broken forever. My biggest issue with the song is the declaration, the repeated declaration that “the only way we’ll last forever” is to be “broken together”. I believe God doesn’t call us to remain broken. Of course “maybe you and I were never meant to be complete” has the same problem.

  • Lesa Brackbill

    I have to disagree. The song is simply saying that your spouse will never complete you, and that pride has no place in marriage. We are all imperfect/broken, and if we recognize that our marriages will be more successful.

    • http://happierhusband.com Troy

      Thanks for the input Leslie! I didn’t get the same thoughts from the song as you, but we are different people. :-) I didn’t try to interpret the meaning behind the lyrics, I took them as they were written and compared them to scripture. Doing that they seemed to me (and not to everyone :-)) to say clearly there is no hope of not always being broken. But Christ makes each of us complete and heals our brokenness. I wish that were somewhere in the lyrics…it would then be a song of great hope!
      Thank you again for your comments, I appreciate them!!!

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