On the Happier Husband blog you’ll see a lot of posts about ways to improve your marriages in short amounts of time.  This includes asking one question, listening to your wife, praying together, and spending less than 60 seconds in a hug. Each of these and many other activities that take 5 minutes or less can add great value to your marriage.

The Bad News

You can do everything listed in the posts linked above and still have a failed marriage. In fact you can probably do 60, 70 or even 80% of the things I have blogged about and yet not have the happy marriage you desire. It’s not that these won’t help, they absolutely will IF you don’t miss the critical ingredient.

A True Story

Did you know I used to work in a roller skating rink? No kidding. I started out as a DJ then moved up to floor guard. I skated backward and forward without effort. I could stop on a dime, do 180s and be instantly moving in the opposite direction at a rapid clip. I could shoot the duck, leap over obstacles (including trusting friends who would lie on the floor while I jumped over them), outflank people who were misbehaving, and catch up to and pass pretty much anyone on the floor. Yep, I was a rink rat. But I didn’t start out with those skills. At first I could barely stand well enough to get from one carpet covered column to the next. Then I couldn’t shoot the duck for more then 10-15 seconds. It took weeks to get the hang of skating backwards. Plus I ran into a LOT of walls (and some people) while mastering a dead stop or quick turn at high speed. How did I go from non-skater to skating master? I skated every chance I could. If the rink was open I was there. Hours and hours for weeks on end working on the basics in order to improve. I didn’t try to do the advanced moves right away because I wasn’t ready for them. It was daily effort over time that took me to roller skating glory!

Bridging the Gap

I probably should tie the “Bad News” section together with the bragging about roller skating. Let me explain why doing most of what I write in this blog won’t work without a critical ingredient. A single hug can change how you feel for the moment or perhaps even for a day. Praying with your wife tonight will be good for both your spirits for tonight. Paying attention to and following your wife’s advice on an issue will validate her for a few days or even a week. Asking yourself “What can I do to show my wife more love?” will help you to love her more for now. But what about next time?

“What have you done for me lately?”
-Janet Jackson

How to Properly Use Quick Marriage Hacks for a Happier Marriage

A great marriage is not built on a single event. No wedding, no matter the expense or beauty of the occasion can long sustain a marriage. No single counseling session, no “I love you” uttered once in the past, no one time prayer together or any other single thing can give you a happy marriage. A happy marriage is built on one moment in time…repeated every day for the rest of your lives.

The Power of Consistency

Your marriage requires daily maintenance. The hugs, the words of love, the prayers offered up together must happen on a VERY regular basis. Just like only feeding your body once a month will lead to certain death by starvation, only occasionally feeding your marriage will lead to a miserable life together and possibly one or both of you seeking the nourishment of love elsewhere. Consistent acts of service and love to each other are the ways to make a happy marriage. Just as God is faithful to show us His love through His Word and Spirit so should we consistently show our spouses our love through our words and actions. Make sure that not a day goes by that she has to miss out on your love. Shower her with affection and care, hold her, touch her, listen to her, speak lovingly to her and serve her every day. Every single day.

“And let us not grow weary of doing good, for in due season we will reap, if we do not give up.”
-Galatians 6:9

Now go love her today and every today for the rest of your lives together.

Love you all!

-Troy