A few days ago I wrote on the topic of working out your financial plan together. Because fighting about money has been repeatedly shown to be one of the main problems in marriage it was important to cover that topic. However working on a budget is one small part of marital interaction in life.
One of my favorite aspects of being married is working towards a common goal. Last year Sally and I trained for and ran both a 10K race and a Warrior Dash (both were even more fun because our son and his fiancé ran with us, although they were not engaged at the time). The joy of sharing a goal makes the process of moving toward that goal much easier. But this post isn’t about swimming through mud or leaping over fire. Which we all did at the Warrior Dash.
Going Through the Motions
Have you ever seen a Harlem Globetrotters game? Usually they play against their travelling opponents the Washington Generals. It’s a known fact that the Globetrotters almost never lose to the Generals and the games are mostly about trick plays, buckets of confetti and amazing ball handling. The Generals play every game fully expecting to lose and so they are just going through the motions to get through it.
I’m Tired Of…
Recently I was having a challenging week. You know the type, there are several things that have to be done, few of them are pleasant and you just want to get through it…like the Washington Generals. I lamented to my lovely bride, “I just wish this week were over.” Then she said an incredibly powerful reply that stopped me in my tracks and caused me to quickly refocus. There were less than 10 words but they contained a great amount of meaning. Here they are: “I’m tired of wishing my life away.” Then it hit me, I was allowing the difficult weeks to take me off track from our common goals. I was using tiredness and my attitude as excuses to keep me from playing for the team that week. I wasn’t pressing on as I should have been doing.
Brothers, I do not consider that I have made it my own. But one thing I do: forgetting what lies behind and straining forward to what lies ahead, I press on toward the goal for the prize of the upward call of God in Christ Jesus.
When It Really Matters
It’s not terribly difficult to lean in when things are going great and you are in the zone. But during the difficult times, when you are exhausted and frustrated, when all you want to do is lie down and sleep, that’s when it matters. When you’d rather go to bed than write the blog post. When you’d rather complain about your job than make a change. When you’d rather just take another drink than call for help. These are the times when what you do makes all of the difference.
Keep on asking, and you will receive what you ask for. Keep on seeking, and you will find. Keep on knocking, and the door will be opened to you. For everyone who asks, receives. Everyone who seeks, finds. And to everyone who knocks, the door will be opened.
How Things Changed
After Sally made the statement, “I’m tired of wishing my life away, “ I had to reevaluate my attitude and behavior. It helped with the push to planning the budget but it did much more than that. It forced me to remember that I can slack off and go through the motions. I can wish away those moments and hours and days that contain things I don’t enjoy. But if I do then I’ll have lost that time…forever. So I am taking my own advice. I’m not only getting engaged, I’m staying engaged. I’ll be changing what we can change and improving my attitude about what can not be changed or what is only temporary. I challenge you to do the same.
I’m trying an experiment to change my attitude. The results at this point are very promising. Perhaps at some point I’ll include what I’m doing in a future post.
What are methods you use to bring yourself back to a great attitude? Drop a reply in the comments!
I love you all!