I love to share our real life experiences (check out “Recent Posts” to the right for more) and today is no different. However we are going to take this WAY back. Back to when hair and Kenny G were still big. (Ok, Kenny G is still kinda big.). This was the mid 90s…the time of Titanic and Twister (the movie, not the colored dot game) and Apollo 13.
One of the most common questions couples, both married and engaged, want to know is this; what makes some marriages succeed and others fail?
Of course the first and best answer is to center your personal lives and marriage on God and His Word. God can trump all ills and difficulties, trials and temptations. After God for us there was one book. One book that took us from a challenging marriage in a very iffy time to an amazing marriage that still ROCKS after 23+ years.
When we had been married only a few years we found this book and knew that it was of God. That was 1995…and things have never been the same for us.
If you read only ONE book this summer (after the Bible) this needs to be it. Everything changed for us when we read this book and applied the crazy simple principles. So easy and so profound. If you want what we have then do what we did. Grab this book and devour it! Spend time in it. We’ve taught many couples (and one single guy…a different story) in classes with this book. We even wrote discussion questions for each chapter. It’s THAT good!
Are you ready? The book is The Five Love Languages by Dr. Gary Chapman.
Ok. I know you’ve seen every possible ‘Five Love Languages’ iteration in your local Christian book store. It’s not as diverse as the ‘Chicken Soup’ series, but it’s still all over the place.
I am specifically talking about the first of all of them, succinctly titled “The Five Love Languages: The Secret to Love that Lasts.” The original editon was titled “The Five Love Languages: How to Express Heartfelt Commitment to Your Mate.”
You may even have this tucked on a shelf somewhere, given as a wedding gift. Let me be 100% clear on this recommendation.
Reading this book, determining your spouse’s and your love languages is critical to understanding each other. Just as important, learning to speak her love language is crucial to long term happiness.
When I discovered that Sally was a high “quality time” person and she found out I was “words of affirmation” it changed our whole dynamic. Time together suddenly became my goal and passion. She strongly focused on speaking powerful words to me. Guess what? Well, if you are reading this blog you don’t need to guess. We have an UNBELIEVABLE relationship!
One book. Buy it and apply it. Do it today.
PS: If you’d like a copy of the study questions we developed I may be able to make that happen. But only if you commit to reading the book AND applying it to your lives. I promise you will be glad you did!
Ready to change your marriage? Tell me in the comments when you are starting the book together.
Go learn a new love language!